The truth about chuck norris

Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot outs. When the director said he couldn’t, he replied “Of course I can, Im Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you cant see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds away from death.

Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own stepfather.

Scientists used to believe that the diamond was the hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face that was so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris’.

God offered Chuck Norris the ability to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.

A ducks quack doesn’t echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why, he will simply stare at you grimly.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

People had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before they could tell him there was a stripper in the cake.

Chuck Norris once shot down a german plane with his finger, by yelling “BANG!”.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space, you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in robot form and poops them transformed into a robot.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face if all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite him holding just a joker,a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may just be trying to tell you he likes your hat.

Contrary to popular belief Chuck Norris, not the blue ringed octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within three minutes of being bitten,a human experiences the following symptoms: Fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through car windshields.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented, it was once believed that autumn occured when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

Chuck Norris was once asked to recommend a club to which he replied “I am a club” and every one partied on him…..Until he roundhouse kicked them all because some one spilt his beer.

These and other Chuck Norris facts available at Chuck Norris Facts