Strange time birthdays, it gives space for some perspective and time to consider the failures and successes of the past year. But I don’t think I am in that considering mode. With my uni work and the running thing, its tying up with organising and pushing on, not taking an overview and pausing to reflect on everything. Its about grinding through and getting it done.
Grinding is a good computer games term there for you. It refers to games where what you hve to do is constant repedative actions in order to progress. Games like aliens versus zombies or candy crush saga and to some extent tetris all could be linked to this idea, you have to grind and grind and grind away at the task. The idea of in app purchases has taken popularity partly as the grind games have become more promenant, as part of the reason to make a purchase is to bypass the repedative gameplay. (Is that cheating or just a blatant application at its best/worst of free market economics. (If you have the money you can buy advantages not available to those without the ability to spend the money on it?) ethically is it wrong to buy yourself to a finish in a game? Is it fair to the game designer to be paid by only those who choose to buy success in the game and not play it as designed?
Anyway back on topic.
This birthday was celebrated with some family and good wishes from friends, and some lovely presents. It was really nice. And a delicious lemon cake.
And a real understanding that i needed to be organised and make the most of my time. The FT over the weekend carried the brilliant column “the sage and the shrink” written by husband and wife duo of Psychotherapist Antonia Macaro and Philosopher Julian Baggini, they toss about one diea from both perspectives. This weekend was the question of ‘can you be content and motivated?’
As i reflected on my birthday. I couldn’t help but ask myself, where i am, am i to content with things. I am very content and happy generally. I like my life, yet i know in the eight months life is going to change. The wee one will start and school and i need to work out what i will do with my time. (Beyond housework!) this change will be a huge opportunity. A new space to inhabit and live in. What could that look like? And what do i want to do with it. Part of my contentment is from taking a bit of control and directing what has been the last two three years. I have had offers to get involved with things and I have said no to a number as i was in a good place with the stuff i currently do.
Macaro makes the point.
far from meaning stagnation being more at ease with where we are means our motivations can be pulled by what we see as good rather than pushed by what is bad.
That kinda points to where i am and what I would like to do. It about pushing for what is good and working through what i think that is and making the moves to make that happen.
My contentment doesnt blind me to the things i could improve, or the injustice and preventable suffering about. Its not a contentment which brings about ignorance or turning a blind eye. The things which motivate me are still there and pushing. But i am glad that those things end up with the pull of the good rather than the push of the bad. The push of the bad can only end badly for all involved rigght?
Anyway onward to the next birthday…
(PS did i really see an advert for valentines day today?)