I don’t think I can

I would like to be better this christmas.

I always find christmas disappointing.

I must be really hard to shop for.

I hate shopping.

I have many things I like, for example so you can’t buy a CD unless you know for sure I don’t have it. I hide my size and weight well so clothes never fit properly. I never know what it it i actually want.

i find it hard not to be disappointed.

At the “Underground” weekend, one of the girls when asked what was special about her, her reply was nothing was special about her. I wonder if that is true for me and everyone. The feeling nothing is special about us is what makes us unique from the people who can do the things we can’t

who enjoy christmas.

who always can get what they want.

People who it seems like others understand them and who they are and can be.

Perhaps I can be that person.

special

honest

me

but i prefer my camoflage

i think.