You know i have never thought about that. The boy is amazing.

When you wake up sun will shine.
We will not go under any cloud.
Let balloons go up in town,
ring out every bell.
Happy birthday, beautiful,
all the birds of this day
sing a song, sing a song.

Dream of trains carrying you
through the state parks with the cherry flowers.
When you wake up it will be
the beginning of the world.
Happy birthday, beautiful,
in the fields of this day
hear a song, hear a song.

Oh, undeserved sweetness and light,
stay by my side.
We will go out in the morning now,
a crown of maple leaves, a crown of flowers
circling your sweet head.
Happy birthday, beautiful,
in the streets of this day
play a song, play a song.

today, (wednesday) will be filled by laugher, joy, homemade cake and gift giving as we celebrate the birthday of our boy.

happy birthday son.

When doing the household chores, the rewards are just doing a good job in and of itself. the one job with a perk is the laundry. The main perk is the occasional discovery of money are you check the trouser pockets before they go into the machine. (If its a bad day a couple of snotty hankies are all you get.)

Quite often my wife will leave me a pound or two, if I a really lucky five pound note she has forgotten about in her pocket. I like to think of this as a small tip to ensure I read the washing care label carefully and follow the instructions. (Hand wash only and no tumble dry being the major instructions which provide obsticales. )

The money usually gets pointed out to the owner at the end of the day, and if not needed would to towards a treat for the boy and girl or lunch money or bus fares or summit.

Yesterday, I got very excited emptying the tumble dryer. there was a note which had shaken itself loose. wow.
in fact on closer inspection their was two notes. ‘My wife had seen the job I was doing and had sent me a good tip ffor doing a good job. Hurrah.’ I thought. I emptied the machine and went back for the rewards, glowing with self satisfaction.

I took out one then two, looked at them.
I held in my hands 30 dollars from the US of A.
Brilliant. Possibly

My Mind Raced with questions…
1 – How much is $30 in £?
2 – Why did my wife have dollars in her pocket?
3 – Had she been shopping with dollars to take advantage of a favorable exchange rate somewhere, and this was her change?
4 – Where can you spend dollars in Lanark and is it a good exchange rate?
5 – What could you ransom for $30 dollars and were the police aware of this?
6 – was my son running an illegal money exchange buisness in the playground and was this his profit margin for one day?
so many questions.

so whats the meaning of this whats the back story? will it ever be discovered?
How big a reward is a puzzle?

Work
I left a full time job for a mix of part time work, childcare and housework. That has worked well mostly. (my polishing still needs some work…)

Volunteering
I am a volunteer Director of Solas Festival and much of the 33rd year was taken up being site manager and licence holder for our first weekend event. It was busy and hectic, but also enjoyable within it’s hecticness. So good indeed we are doing it again this summer… (you should come.)

Developing
My main learning/thinking has been on the MSM course from Fresh Expressions.I ma enjoying it kind of. It is quite similar to work I have already done, but it is good to keep reminding yourself of good practice and how things can happen well.

Edges
Part of childcare has been transporting my children to swimming.
The boy can swim (kind of) and a huge step forward from being scared of water.
The girl goes to a baby and mother class, where I am the only male. (ditto the mother and toddler group).
I am quite conscious of being a man in that situation and my physical presence, and I wonder about how the woman feel about having a guy there.
It has been fun to be with my daughter though.

Weight
I went on a diet and from the 1st of September to the 25th of December, I managed to loose 3 stone exactly. Only 3 more to go.

Meetings
I enjoyed meeting up with some friends and having good chats. I think I should do more of this.

Reading
Didn’t do enough of this.

Listening
I really enjoyed the music of
The National’s ‘High Violet’
Shearwater’s ‘The Golden Archipelago’
Anais Mitchell’s ‘Hadestown’
plus The Innocence Missions achingly beautiful ‘My Room In The Trees’

I also enjoyed seeing live music close up at Solas 2010
The National
Fyfe Dangerfield
And looking to Hadestown at Celtic Connections on friday…
(now if only I could get access to that after show party!)

I really enjoyed doing the work for the Laconic Hegemony mix. Might do some more of this.

Home
I enjoyed getting the work done in the front room and playing at being foreman.
The double glazing has also been awesome.

In general
Year 33 has had downs as well as ups, but on balance the ups have it.
bring on 34. it can’t be that bad.
can it?

quality control as per my daughter

1. Find item on floor

2. Lift item off floor

3. Shake item

4. Bite item

5. Hit item off floor see if it brakes

6. Bite item again

7. Shake Item

8. Lose interest and discard item

…repeat until bedtime.

so far our toys seem to have passed the test!

Today was a snow day (no School or nursery) and I had fun with the children.

We played at home and went to the Lanark Loch to feed the swans.
The snow was deep and crunched under our feet.
The Loch was quite busy for a Thursday in December.
We took bread and decided to feed the ducks and the swans.

There was a broken piece of ice where the duck and swans were.
We parked and my son got out the car.
I handed him two bread bags with a couple of slice in each.
As I put together the push chair for the the girl.

“Look at the swan.”
I looked up as I put together the extremely well designed dutch pram.
A swan had wandered up the car and was marking his territory around our car.
I put the children around the other side of the car.
A second swan came round in a flanking manouvre.

Buy the time the girl was in the chair we had four swans chasing us across the car park.
I asked the boy for the bags of bread and put them in my jacket.
With the disappearance of the branded bags the swans backed off and lost interest in us.

We wandered the edge of the loch we saw swans dominating the space and walking around on the pathway.
We stopped about 10 meters away and started to throw some of the bread.
The swans took their time getting to us, but the ducks quickly realised and came in numbers.
Every time a swan got to close on land we walked on 20-30metres.

Until after 3-4stops we got rid of the branded bags.
the ducks wandered off and swans decided to stop following us after a while.

We wandered in the snow, free from the chains of swan consumerism.
Enjoying a snow day.

solas2010 was class
you should have been there.

great music, speakers, weather, activities, and fun for all the family.
it was great to be a part of something like this.
where sourcing affordable, local produce, sold at affordable prices, (£2 for an organic venison burger. nice!) was as important as getting the right band. Where giving the festival the right feel & vibe was more important than having a pub.

It was a delight and joy. I still can’t quite believe how well everything went. Someone gave me feedback based on turning Solas from a 4star festival into a 5star. Trust me, a 4star rating is deserved and accurate. It really was good. You should have been there.

thanks to lots of people I worked directly with including,
Dominic,
Hoggy & Gordon @GBR,
Ben & E&MS crew,
Bill,
Sam,
Martin & Dave,
Jonny @Wiston
and the solas directors.

Here’s to many more.

PS Becoming a Solas Saint would be very helpful. please consider helping Solas to grow and develop the conversation between Arts, Justice & Faith, http://www.solasfestival.co.uk/give.php

recently i was asked this question. Please write a few words of your personal story describing something of your own spiritual journey.

recently I have been reflecting on my attitude to work and how this has been influenced and shaped.

“One of the best reasons for being a Christian, as with a socialist, is that you don’t like to do any work.”(Terry Eagleton, Reason, Faith & revolution: Reflections on the God Debate. Yale, 2009)

Yet the understanding of work has been changed and taken beyond the way Jesus lived to become more in the image of Paul. I have respect for Paul he was a great organiser, preacher and worker. Yet I find I cannot square the accusations leveled against Jesus of being a glutton & being an layabout, and fraternising with low in society with a work ethic which seems to encourage a drive towards self improvement and a burgeoning middle class aspirationaism.

I believe there is nothing wrong with being middle class.
I believe there is nothing wrong with self improvement.
I believe there is nothing wrong with work.

However there does seem to be a disconnect between an example of the word becoming flesh, which took time to travel with people, and spent time with the people no one else would, and faith community which implicitly, and sometimes explicitly esteems high paid jobs, professionalism, and a ‘protestant’ work ethic.

I see the faith and beliefs I hold as something integral to me and as I reflect and think about who I am, and what that means for myself and how I act, I find more incongruence. As such I have decided to make a change, to live life differently to follow Christ and his example in a different way. And see how that goes.

So I have quit my job.

And work/ faith/life may never be the same again.

(NB On the notion of spiritual Journey, I find it unhelpful. I think that it can lead to a sort of spiritual tourism. I think our theology (belief/understanding of God) is very influenced by our place. Where we are, how we engage with the world and conversely how the world engages with us. Unhelpfully spiritual journey seems to transcend reality and condemn our life experience as a moot point, unless it can be spiritualised.)

Of course I could be wrong on this and reserve the right to be wrong!

MY life is changing for the better, of this I am sure. Yet i find it hard to adequately explain whats happening.

the headlines.
I have stopped working for The Salvation Army In Easterhouse.
I have accepted a part time position at Greyfriars Church in Lanark.
I am going to become a stay at home dad for my children.

Who?
me, scott paget I wrote a letter of resignation to The Salvation Army, Easterhouse.

What?
I am stopping work for the Salvation Army. This is good, and hopefully a good thing which will have a knock on effect to the work i can and will do, moving forward the future i hope i will have.

why?
Cause it will be fun.
Over the last few years, in discussions with my wife, I had said it would make sense for me to be the one who stayed at home. Money wise that made sense. But working worked for me. it forced me to interact. It gave me a sense of joy, something to do and do well. I wasn’t able to opt out of life. I have to be careful about who and what I am.

So when this wee job came up, i went for it. I got it and start soon.

When?
In about a weeks time.
About 4 months ago i discovered my boss, who had been joking about moving was actually moving. (we had suspected!)
Then 2 months ago I spoke at Third Sunday, the plan was to have a pretty straight church style service, but it was on one of the 10 commandments, “do not lie”. Sounds pretty straight forward right, do not lie. I couldn’t do it straight forward, How could I stand in front of a group of people I cared about and tell them not to lie when I do lie. As I thought about it I felt honesty would be best.
So I took it as a confessional/analysis talk, where i discussed and looked at why i and others lie. How we can change and the place of grace/Holy Living. It went well, I felt, it provoked questions in those that were there. Some people were complimentary and some wanted to chat further.

As a planning group we met to discuss what had happened and how people had felt about it. By the end of the meeting I was left doubting my approach, where I was and what I was doing even attempting to talk to others about this stuff.

It was clear I needed to review what I believed, why I believed it and what that meant for me as a worker. As a reflective practitioner i took this opportunity gratefully and used it as something helpful and useful. I went through that process I realised that working was a not something I wanted to continue. That changing my life would be beneficial for me, my family and for those I worked with.

How?
Stopping work will be hard, but will give me more time, and space to be, within the family, and myself.

As i write, I wish I had more answers, but I am in a place of reflection and change.
“Isn’t this the place we’re practicing belief
Seems we’re always looking at the door In hopes for so much more
And the stories in my pockets are the best I’ve ever lived”

so I am almost home,
I am excited about the possibilities it can hold.
I am excited about eh new job.
I am sad to leave somewhere i did a good job.
I am sad to leave something i had committed to.
I am hopeful & unsettled.

If you are passing, knock the door, or ring the bell.
It would be good to see you.

Changes.
They come in some unexpected places.

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
(I made a lot of mistakes)
All things know, all things know
(I made a lot of mistakes)
You had to find it
(I made a lot of mistakes)
All things go, all things go
(I made a lot of mistakes)